Here is "Part I" of a collection of notions (self talk thoughts (written in plain print)) that are notorious for taking up residence in my mind and try to gnaw away at the foundations of my recovery and tempt me daily to forfeit my sobriety. Each of these notions have a plausible introduction, but a shaky conclusion.
The entries in italics are my rebuttals to my addict. I will start memorizing them today! He has been monolouging for far too long. The time has come for me to stand up for myself and through God's omnipotent grace, start talking back!
Feel free to reply to my post if you can relate to any of these thoughts when you are tempted to act out.
• I’m a bad person. (I should do the world a favor and just kill myself.)
The truth is that I’m a very good person. (I have a good heart and have unique talents, abilities, and experiences to share with the world.)
• The family is out of town, who’ll ever know? (I will, but I am not an important person in my life.)
The truth is that my family will sense something happened while they were away. My spouse has a sixth sense about these things and can tell when I’m not being honest. (Also, the fleeting moment of pleasure that comes from acting out doesn’t come close to comparison with the confidence, joy, and satisfaction that come from responsibly working my recovery and maintaining a strong sobriety while my family is gone.)
• I’m losing my mind. (Maybe acting out/using will restore me to sanity.)
The truth is that I’m not losing my mind. (I have a progressive disease that I am powerless over and render my life unmanageable. A symptom of that disease is viewing life through a distorted lens. Consciously acknowledging my powerless and unmanageability, surrendering, and working my program will restore me to sanity.)
• By acting out, I really get even. (At my funeral they’ll be sorry they were mean to me – if anybody shows up.)
The truth is acting out due to resentment is stupid and self destructive. (Nothing good ever comes from drinking the poison of lust hoping someone else will pity me for my selfishness and my stupidity. I am smarter than that. I am way better than that. I know that when I live the Serenity Prayer, and exercise mercy, love, and forgiveness, I feel much better about myself and others than I ever do when I rot in self justification and resentment.)
The truth is no one wants me to relapse. (They want me to stay sober and enjoy a successful, powerful recovery. They know I can be honest and authentic in my recovery when I choose to be. Because I often look at life through a distorted lens, they understand and must remind me often that I just need to let go and be myself instead of trying to impress people who already accept me and love me as I am.)
What rebuttal of convictions do you tell your addict when he/she becomes to chatty and you are tempted to forfeit your sobriety?
• Certain people want me to relapse. ( And I’m only too glad to oblige them.)
The truth is no one wants me to relapse. (They want me to stay sober and enjoy a successful, powerful recovery. They know I can be honest and authentic in my recovery when I choose to be. Because I often look at life through a distorted lens, they understand and must remind me often that I just need to let go and be myself instead of trying to impress people who already accept me and love me as I am.)
What rebuttal of convictions do you tell your addict when he/she becomes to chatty and you are tempted to forfeit your sobriety?
God bless you in your recovery, and happy holidays! Go forward in faith! God is in charge!
Ho! Ho! Ho!
- John D.
1 comment:
JOHN, i like these rebuttals. I once wrote a post on the lies i often believe. Some of them were pretty intense. But i never did go back and write a rebuttal for each one. Maybe I should. One of mine goes along with what you wrote. "Well, Warrior, you are a single guy. Smart and can take care of yourself. If you act out right now, you'll still be able to function in life. No one will be directly injuryed." And i believe. But one thing that i am seeing is that ME, I, Warrior am an important person. Acting out hurts ME. I love Warrior. Even if I was on a stranded island...i can still be sober for ME. Because I matter. And so does my peace.
thanks for this post!
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